


Nice Legs, Daisy Dukes

by SandrC



Series: Not Another Fanfiction Collection [8]
Category: Not Another D&D Podcast
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bisexual Disaster Moonshine Cybin, F/F, Racism, Ride AND Die Motherfuckers, Trans Man Hardwon, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-12 16:56:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18450761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SandrC/pseuds/SandrC
Summary: Making me go—🍆💦😍(In which Moonshine changes who she is for a girl, Hardwon gets attacked in the shittiest way possible, and Beverly is just wondering why Moonshine is alone and has a black eye and a bloody chin.)(A Modern Human High School!AU for NADDPOD. You don't need to read Triptych to understand it, but it wouldn't hurt.)





	Nice Legs, Daisy Dukes

**Author's Note:**

> Immediately started thinking about this after Triptych was posted. Namely the concept of trans man!Hardwon made me happy and then that evolved into autistic!Moonshine and autistic!Bev and then I just started having fun with the High School setting and it went from there.
> 
> You don't need to read Triptych to get this. Just know that Moonshine and Hardwon are in high school and Beverly is much younger and in a private school, though he comes by every Thursday for tutoring.
> 
> Has anyone had that one person they changed a lot of themselves for? Then it turned out they were a gigantic shitfuck? Me neither.
> 
> Triss was the first gal I could think of that wasn't Alanis or Thiala or Jolene or Maribelle, who are off-limits. Sorry y'all.
> 
> Warning: transphobic and racist language, verbal abuse, physical violence, and slut-shaming.

The first thing that Beverly asked was "does it hurt?" The second thing was " _what the heck_ , Moonshine?!"

The reason for these two questions were because Moonshine Cybin, normally scruffy and scrappy but _overall_ put-together, was sporting a pretty fresh shiner and had dried blood on her chin. She also had on a pair of jean cutoffs, a high-riding baby tee, and shoes. She looked like she wrestled a pig and lost. She looked ready to cry. Like she _had been_ crying.

She'd never looked like this before.

And, as a side note: _where was Hardwon?_

Beverly spent a lot of his spare time hanging out with Moonshine and Hardwon. Even though they _did_ , in fact, _barely_ pass their midterms, the two older teens kept coming back to talk to him and he accepted it. Every Thursday meant a couple hours with two people he'd _only_ consider role models by thin degrees _if you squinted_ , but definitely considered _friends_. As such, he'd picked up all sorts of fun things from the two so-called "delinquents" (Denny) and "Boobs" (self named, ironically enough). Things like "prime swear words" and "how to spit almost a foot" and "being into dudes is fine, lil dude, you do you". Fun things like that.

So coming to _Galaderon High_ and not immediately seeing Hardwon and Moonshine in their normal hidey hole in the library was concerning. Seeing Moonshine come in later, all decked up and obviously decked _at least_ once was more so. Not seeing Hardwon _at all_ was upsetting _to say the least_.

Again, back to Beverly's questions, "What's going on?"

Moonshine swallowed heavily, not meeting his eyes. She reached for PawPaw, who wasn't there. It set Beverly's hair on edge.

"Moonshine? _Why aren't you talking?_ " He was starting to panic. He shouldn't be panicking, sure. They were teenagers— _practically_ adults! Hardwon would be _fine_ on his own, but—

Beverly was very routine and they both knew it. Both of them _always_ respected his wants and needs, _even before_ they actually accepted his offer of friendship, so for them to so suddenly change things up meant...

 _Something bad happened_. Something bad happened _and Moonshine wasn't telling him_. Oh god. _Oh no_. Hardwon was _dead_ , wasn't he? He was dead and Moonshine _knew_ but didn't want to tell him because she didn't want him to freak out but it wasn't working coz he was _freaking out_ currently and _and **and—!**_

"I bit her," Moonshine finally said. Her normally boisterous tone was low and ashamed. She continued on with Beverly's whole attention, "She said shitty things 'bout Hardwon n' me n'I _bit her_."

"Wait...you bit _who_?"

So Moonshine explained.

* * *

Her name was Triss and she was _perfect_. She had dark skin and dark hair and curves for days. She was head cheerleader and _also_ valedictorian.

She _also_ had caught Moonshine's eye in the worst way possible.

"Look," Moonshine said to Hardwon as she passed him her joint, " _you_ know she's hot. _I_ know she's hot. _She_ knows she's hot. I just wanna—" she made a futile gesture with her hands, trying to indicate the dirty deeds she wanted to do to Triss, "— _yanno_?"

" _Sure_ ," Hardwon said. He took a long drag and passed it back, "but you _certain_ she's the right one to pop your cherry with, so to speak?"

" _Hardwon Surefoot_ ," Moonshine laughed and shoved him none-too-gently, sending him staggering into the patchy grass of the upper phys-ed field, "that ain't a thing for two ladies and you know it!"

"One word, Moonshine: _strapon_. A few more: _might_ have a penis." She howled at his response, laughing happily into the wind.

" _Okay_ , okay. But _still_ ," Moonshine ground the roach under her dirty heel and exhaled a long plume of smoke into the sky, "y'think I can do it? Coz of all...my _everything_?"

"I think you could bang _whomever_ you wanted," he admitted. Moonshine stared at him, making him double-take. " _What_?"

"Lookit you! _Learnin_ ' shit from lil' Bev!"

The two of them stood up and dusted off their asses. Even after a good smoke, the cool air of Galaderon in autumn was a welcome feeling. Crisp, with a hint of leaves and decay, backed by cloudless skies and dark. " _Fuck off_ ," he griped, only half-joking. "If you tell the kid that I _will_ cut you off."

"I can ask Red or Gunther myself!" Moonshine retorted.

"Don't get it from _them_ ," he shot back. She stuck out her tongue. "Ha! _So there_."

" _Whatever_ ," she said, though she didn't mean it of course. They never did. "You go home and tell Gunther he owes me a match still. _And_ that twenty for the game last week."

"I promise _nothing_." But they both headed off, questions and worries temporarily forgotten.

Home life for Moonshine was... _chaotic_ to say the least. Part of the reason she liked spending so much time out with Hardwon and at school was because there was no damn space for herself. Her room _also_ housed three other kids _and_ one uncle. Her clothes were hand-me-downs that were often handed down farther or just plain _borrowed_. Even her toothbrush was used by four other people _at the least_.

In the Cybin communal house, there was no "me". Only "us". And _normally_ that was fine but, as time went on, Moonshine felt a longing for something that made her unique among her multitude of siblings. School helped—none of the other Cybin folk had gotten through middle school, so her being so close to college was a way to mark her as different—but even the shine was wearing from that. So she found solace in staying away.

Today she found her lack of privacy _more_ upsetting than normal, though, and her Meemaw had to pull her aside for a talk. Jolene Cybin was _always_ good at talks. It didn't make them any easier though.

"You a'ight, Moonshine? Y'seem _right_ rankled. Near took Petri's head clean off for tryin'ta sample some a' your food. Can I help?" Jolene was sitting in her chair, her own possum—PawPaw's own mama, large and wise beyond her years—napping calmly in her lap.

And Moonshine, the damn fool, shook her head. "Just lost my temper's all. _Long day_."

"You know you can always talk t'me if you need to, right?"

"Yeah. I _do_."

"And you'll tell me if anything is wrong? Botherin' you and so on?"

" _Yup_ ," she lied.

Jolene pulled her in for a hug. She smelled like pipe tobacco and fried food and home. Moonshine fought back tears.

 _What would Triss like?_ Moonshine wondered. _Would she like a muscly, scrappy gal with a possum? Would she like someone with mud on her face and dirt on her feet? Would she like someone with freckles and overalls? Would she like **me**?_

While she wouldn't ever admit it on pain of a snakebite, some of the gossip and shit-talking some of the other kids did got to her. They called her a dumb hick. They said she was all T&A and nothing else. They said she'd look better if she took a bath. They said she'd look good in bed, bent over them, sucking their dicks, taking it like a good little slut.

And they weren't _wrong_. Not about _all_ of it.

So what if she tried something _different_ to catch Triss's attention? Dressed nicer and took a bath and maybe some other shit too? _What then?_ Would that work?

Well, it wouldn't hurt to _try_.

* * *

Hardwon, ever eloquent, had _no fucking clue_ what to say right now. Never mind that Moonshine had taken a bath—a miracle in and of itself, considering that he was _almost_ certain some of her freckles had been mud-flecks—but she had worn _actual clothing_! With a bra and everything!

This was some sort of national holiday! Or the end of times. Either or.

( _Honestly_? He wouldn't mind either way. He got to see Moonshine in normal human clothes. That was payment enough for a century's worth of death and pain. He could die happy now.)

She seemed to have borrowed some clothes from her aunt—the one she said worked red-light areas—and was sporting some hick chic. Cutoff jean shorts, a cropped baby tee that sported some sort of barbecue restaurant logo on it, and some torn up Chucks. Not good clothing by _most_ people's standards, but Moonshine had a brand and it was overalls and nothing else. This was _revolutionary_.

Add in that she had managed to tame her wild bush of hair into more manageable halo of tight curls and had even gone so far as to wear a bit of tinted lip gloss.

Overall it was _stunning_.

(If you were into busty country girls.)

Per usual, both her and Hardwon's appearance was heralded by their normal dissenters. Denny—damn him to an eternity of picking rat shit out of chocolate chip bags—walked up to them and cleared his throat.

" _Excuse_ me," he said in his shitty little voice, "but you can't wear shorts that high."

" _Pardon?_ " Hardwon asked, an eyebrow raised as an extra way to indicate Denny was gonna get his ass kicked if he kept pushing it.

"No, _no_. Let th' _boy_ talk, Hardwon." Moonshine, grinning set to kill, gestured at Denny. "How're my shorts any different than, _say_ , the skirts worn by the cheerleaders or th' shorts worn by the volleyball team? Or your own memory between the hours a' five n' seven on Thursday afternoons?" Denny swallowed. _Got'im_.

"C-carry on." He nodded.

Fucking _good_.

" _Thanks_! Have a good'un!" Moonshine waved and smiled after him. It still was a predatory smile. Then she turned back to Hardwon and sighed dramatically. "That boy will be the death of me yet!"

"You clean up nice, Cybin," Hardwon laughed.

She gave him a shy smile and blushed, the red setting off her freckles like autumn leaves. "Y'think Triss'll like it?"

He shook his head and laughed. " _If_ she's into girls, she'll like it. _Believe you me_ , you'd have your pick of any boy at the trailer park. Or _girl_ , should they be so inclined." He gave her a thumbs up, noting the distinct lack of PawPaw. "Where's PawPaw?"

" _Oh_! Yeah," Moonshine fumbled for her backpack, flipping the messenger bag around to the front, "here he is!" PawPaw poked his nose out of her bag and let out a disgruntled squeak. "He couldn't fit like he normally does," she admitted. "It ain't perfect, but it's _something_."

Hardwon scratched him on the head and nodded, " _It's something_." There was _something_ that was bothering him about Moonshine and Triss. He wasn't sure if it was the way Moonshine had dressed up for Triss or the way he remembered something like that he'd done a long time ago. Either way, something about this was fishy as fuck. "You _sure_ you're ready?" He wouldn't discourage her. After all, he was her wingman and she, his. But he wanted her to make sure this was what she _wanted_. That this change was _her_ decision. That this wasn't for someone else. For the wrong reasons.

"As I'll ever be," she said. "So I'll chat her up during phys-ed. Changin' rooms n' all."

" _Lucky_ ," Hardwon laughed, a little terse.

"Then maybe a post-school date? I dunno..." Moonshine shrugged. "Play it by ear."

"As good a plan as any," he nodded. "Just, be safe man. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"A'ight _dad_. Guess there ain't nothing I _won't_ do then."

" _Boo_."

"I'm not wrong."

"Nonetheless."

* * *

"So what does _any of this_ have to do with your biting someone and getting your eye hit hard? And why are Hardwon and PawPaw _not here right now_?" While normally Bev would love a good story, the fact that she was telling a tale instead of getting to the point about her injury was _more_ than a little upsetting. _Downright irritating_ if he was being honest.

But patience is a virtue. So he waited, patiently, as Moonshine continued with her tale.

He hoped the ending was happy, even though it didn't look like it was gonna be.

* * *

The girl's changing room at _Galaderon High_ was a chaotic mess. Bras pulled off under T-shirts, shirts exchanged in full view of other girls, and even aggressive complaints about under-boob sweat and periods and passing around of Midol and sanitary products. As Moonshine freshened up for class, she nervously counted her breaths. Triss and her great body and laugh and smile and _everything_ was currently taking a shit so she had time to prep talking to her.

 _Hi there, Triss! How's it going? Sure is weather we're having! You have a very body pretty!_ Moonshine sighed and slammed her forehead against the sink. Even in her practiced flirting, she was a _disaster_.

She was regretting leaving PawPaw in her gym locker. He probably was getting nervous and she could use the comfort.

The service animal thing wasn't _just_ a gaff, after all. PawPaw had a _purpose_.

Instead, Moonshine took a deep breath in, out, and splashed her face with cold water. The shock helped her think clearer.

 _Oh Melora_ , thinking clearly was a _terrible_ idea.

Before she could spiral further into a wild tailspin of self loathing and awkward practiced pick-up lines, the stall Triss was in opened up and she strutted out, face twisted in post-shit discomfort. She scrubbed her hands up to the elbows and aggressively shook them dry. Then, as if she had been hyper focused on being clean, Triss noticed Moonshine.

"Oh _hey_!" Triss flashed a winning and lazy smile. "What's up, _uh_ —?"

" _Moonshine_ ," she supplied, ejaculating the word like buckshot. "And not much, _you_?"

" _Same_. I'm on this new diet—it's a vegetarian substrate of the high-protein diets out there but with beans?—and it is _wrecking_ my shit." Triss laughed and it was bone chimes on a porch.

"You just eatin' beans _straight_ or do you have any good recipes?"

"Mostly just as-is coz they're _so_ hard to prepare," Triss shrugged. "I don't have time to soak them for a soup or anything so it's canned and warm and that's all I can do."

"You tried chili? My Meemaw has a real good'un that'll knock your tear-ducts to Gladehome and back. Spicy as hell and _just_ as good." Moonshine and Triss walked out into the gym talking. It was going good so far. Let's see how long that would last.

"If you wouldn't mind? I love my mom but she thinks _ketchup_ is spicy and I need flavor in my life that _isn't_ Himalayan pink salt."

"I'll write it down. Also the cornbread that goes with it. S'got peppers in it but is sweet as molasses." She was relaxing a bit. Time to go for the kill. "So, _uh_ , Triss?"

" _Hm_?" She was looking at her. _Sweet Melora_ she was looking _at_ her! Moonshine swallowed down her anxiety and fear and took the dive.

"Do you, _um_ , that is..." Moonshine was floundering and that was bad. Really _really_ bad. She pulled back and tried again, "You, _uh_ , wanna go see a movie or somethin'?"

There was a strange silence. In a school like this, with gals like that, the gym was _rarely_ quiet. This one was and it was stifling. _Smothering_.

" _Sure_. During lunch? Wanna skip?" _Gods above she said yes._

"Uh, _yeah_!" Moonshine tried not to sound _too_ excited, but it was hard. She was over the moon about it, to be honest. But she kept her cool. "Any pref'rences?"

"There's a new Madea film out." It wasn't a request. She didn't take it as such.

"Then I'm there. We gonna walk?"

"We can take my car. I have," she said, full lips pulled thin in a wry smile, "a _convertible_."

"Sweet." Phys-ed passed by like a blur, Moonshine's heart beating out a manic pace. _Sure_ , the tickets to the film were expensive for the nearby theater, but Moonshine had a small chunk of cash. It was fine. _It was fine_.

This was gonna be fine.

* * *

This was, decidedly, _not fucking fine_.

Expectations: her and Triss seeing a shitty comedy.

Reality: her, Triss, and _Triss's jackass friend_ , who was _not only_ third-wheeling her steeze, but was also being a right _douche_ about it.

" _Look_ ," jackass friend, whose name she couldn't be assed to give half a shit about, said though a mouthful of popcorn, "I don't know _why_ they gotta make a whole series about folks like that.

Moonshine's hackles rose. "Folks like that" was coded white shit for upsetting racial slurs. "Folks like that" was also coded white shit she'd been on the receiving end of. _Asshole_. Still, she bared her teeth in a snarling grin and pretended it was fun. For Triss. _For Triss. **For Triss.**_

"It's _just_ comedy," Triss drawled. They were in the theater and they were _talking_ but _okay_. Okay. "I don't know why you're so up your own ass about it. Not very chill of you, _is it_ Moonshine?"

 _Oh_! Her name! _Fuck_! Moonshine tore her eyes away from the terrible comedy they were supposed to be watching and shrugged. "It ain't right to judge folks based on things they can't change, _is it_?"

Jackass friend sneered around a mouthful of corn, "They still aren't, like, _funny_."

"I don't think that has _any_ ties to th' race of the folks in the film though," she posited. She was _trying_ to be neutral. _Trying_ to be kind. _Trying_ to be chill for Triss. _For Triss. **For Triss**_ **.** "It's just a bad movie."

"Didn't take you for being into interracial." _Oop_. Nope _nope **nope**_. _Fuck off_. "But considering the _friends_ you keep, I'm not surprised."

"Where _is_ she anyway?" Triss asked, sipping at the flask she hid in her purse. Vodka that she offered Moonshine earlier. Vodka she refused earlier. She'd _promised_ Meemaw she'd be sober at school. "Your... _friend_."

Moonshine stiffened. " _He's_ at school. Keepin' an eye on PawPaw for me. _Why_?"

"I just found it odd that you and her hung out so often. I mean, you're like a ten— _when_ you clean up—but she's a two _at best_. Probably not even _that_ with the way she keeps her face all _fuzzy_ and so on." Triss waved one hand about dismissively, as if she wasn't spitting shit with every word from her mouth.

" _Plus_ ," jackass friend added, "did you _hear_ about her ex? Found out she had no dick and got her kicked out of her old town! Low grades, dumbfuck, and _ugly_ to boot." Jackass friend crammed another handful of popcorn in his mouth.

"Meanwhile, _you_ managed to drag yourself free of that halfway home, shake off the mud, and _look good_ doing it." Triss smiled and, _Melora_ , Moonshine wanted nothing less than to _bloody_ her lips instead of _kiss_ them. "You've _made_ something of yourself. _She_ continued to wallow and that is _so_ un-chill."

Her hands were shaking. The shiny had rubbed off the penny now and Moonshine was done. Capital-D, _Done_. "I would _ask_ you," she said, "t'not talk like that about my _friends_. _Or_ my family."

" _Why_ though?" Triss asked. "It's not like it _matters_?"

"What _matters_ is what _you_ are. What you _make_ of yourself," jackass friend added in what he thought was a sage way.

"What I make of myself?" Moonshine repeated, almost under her breath. " _Huh_..."

She was Moonshine Cybin, the only Cybin to attend high school. She had a C-average and needed to be tutored by an elementary school kid. She needed her possum for emotional support. She didn't like wearing a bra or shoes. She liked sunshine and trees and weed and booze.

What _would_ she make of herself?

Moonshine smiled at Triss, leaned forward, and kissed her deeply. Triss reciprocated, _obviously_ into it by the way she leaned in and guided the kiss farther, and jackass friend hooted in appreciation. As the kiss deepened and continued, leaving them both breathless, Moonshine pulled on Triss's lower lip, and _bit the fuck down._

Her mouth _flooded_ with copper.

Triss shrieked and tried to pull away. Her fists beat pitifully against Moonshine's broad shoulders, against her forehead, against her collar. It wasn't until Triss headbutted Moonshine in the face, brow connecting with her eye-socket, and that shocked her into letting go.

" _You_ -you fucking cunt! _Bitch_!" Triss shrieked. It didn't matter that they were in a movie theater. It didn't matter that there were almost five other people in there with them. She was incensed and was gonna throw down. " _What the fuck?!_ "

"I bring you to a movie coz I'm into you. I put up with payin' for a ticket _you_ could afford. I let you bring your _shitheel_ friend and I say _nothin_ ' but you will _not_. _Insult_. _My friends_." Moonshine was growling now, letting the clean and sexy façade slip to show feral roots. " _His_ name is _Hardwon Surefoot_. You _will_ address him as such or you will _keep_ his memory _far_ away from your _filthy fucking mouth_. Are we _clear_?"

" _Fucking cunt_!" Triss shrieked. Jackass friend didn't move to help her, to stop them, he just crunched on popcorn and probably stored the memory for jacking off to later. She swung again and clawed the side of Moonshine's face. Moonshine grinned and tucked her head. Then she launched herself at Triss and bodily tackled her to the ground, throwing a strong left into her fucking perfect fucking nose.

They fought until they were kicked out five minutes later by a _very tired_ employee who offered refunds to everyone else. Bloodied and bruised, Moonshine ran back to school, _sure_ she had fucked up somewhere.

And to the present.

* * *

Beverly stared at Moonshine, processing the tale she just told. The way she went from fondly talking about how _hot_ Triss was to how _fucking terribly vile_ the things she was saying were. The joy and pain and frustration and feelings of betrayal she was broadcasting with each scene she set. The worry when she mentioned Hardwon. How quiet her voice got when she recounted the way he was misgendered and slandered. How _proud_ she was to have fought back. The joy she found in her black eye.

"So you haven't seen Hardwon either?" Moonshine asked, craning her head to look for him. Beverly shook his head. " _Fucking shit._ "

" _Agreed_. Though," he hesitated for a moment, "did you check the fields? You hang out there a lot, _yeah_? Maybe he's there."

Moonshine lit up. " _Smart fuckin' kid_! I _knew_ we kept you around for something!"

" _Ha ha_ ," Beverly rolled his eyes but he knew what she meant. "Go find him and text me when you do, _okay_? I'll just read some Terry Pratchett in the meantime."

" _Be safe Bev_!" And she was gone.

* * *

Hardwon held PawPaw to his chest and hissed through his teeth. He'd finally put his finger on why Moonshine doing what she was doing felt so hanky: he'd done it a long time ago for Gemma. _Fuck_ Wilhelm but...but...

 _But_...

As he was wallowing in his self-pity, he heard the hammering of someone running full-tilt towards his location. He dragged the back of his hand against his eyes to mask his tears. Shifted PawPaw in his grasp and sat up to see who was coming.

It was Moonshine and she looked like hell warmed over.

"You look like shit," Hardwon sniped. He didn't _mean_ to be bitter but emotions and feeling and so on. A gigantic clusterfuck of neurological bullshit. The nightmare scenario.

"You should see _th'other_ gal." This made Hardwon sit up higher in surprise.

"What the fuck _happened_?" He took in the dried blood on her chin, the dirt and blood and unidentifiable stains on her borrowed clothes, and the smile she wore despite it all.

"Nothin' of consequence. Let's just say," Moonshine smiled and plopped down on the dirt beside him, "Triss and her jackass friend can _eat shit and live_. Also Tyler Perry movies _still_ ain't funny."

Hardwon let out a stifled snort. PawPaw scrambled over him and into Moonshine's grasp. She squeezed him so tight his eyes bugged out. Then she leaned against him and closed her eyes, content. He leaned back against her, anxiety dissipating from within.

They sat that way until the sun set.

And it was alright in the end, as most things are.


End file.
